Feelings!! I truly think I barely can manage my own? But I do think I talk about my own feelings with my kids out loud so the focus isn’t always on them but also so they can see how my feelings dictate my choices. Who knows if this works or not. Also, we read books and discuss feelings we see the characters go through. Or I’ll name what I think my child might be struggling with b while we try to find a solution.
I haven’t thought about kid talk dominating! We have some friend with, some without, and when we all hang together I feel like the conversation flows. And then I’ll carve out time with just my mom friends so we can mom spiral as much as we want! Haha.
Seriously, I don't know how much my toddler is getting from all these feelings and emotions books but I sure am learning a ton! I love that you walk through your emotional process. That's a wonderful tip and I bet it *does* show your kids how to handle those emotional situations as well. I think your point about having separate, more mom-focused conversations is brilliant. Maybe that's what I need. It's funny because I love connecting with my friends who don't have kids because it reminds me of the person I actually am (beyond just as a parent).
Any of those moments where I get to play with other adults are such a breath of fresh air! Like oh yeah! I can talk about more than the imagination play or playdoh.
If you haven’t read Out of a Jar by Deborah Mercero, may I suggest it for the emotions books list. It’s all about trying to stifle the big emotions and then the inevitable spill when you can’t keep it all inside. Talk about learning as I read. 🤣
I have 2 points of view on this. Since becoming a parent, I have often struggled with finding the balance. As much as possible, I try to have more inclusive conversations with everyone around me but many times - especially if the majority of folks on the table are parenting - the conversations keeps veering back to all things kids. And since having a kid, all everyone brings us these days (either as holiday souvenirs or just like that) are kid things. While I fully appreciate that, I also somewhere lament the loss of our identity as our own individuals before being parents. I try and do my bit to change this trend - maybe it is trying to meet people without kid stories separately or trying to have more inclusive topics as conversation starters or bringing gifts for parents instead of just the kids. But it is a balance that I am still trying to find.
The other point of view is this - I had several struggles in my parenthood journey with multiple miscarriages. At that time, I found that people with kids would try to avoid any talk of kids around me - but I found the conversations forced at that point. So maybe others in the group who are not child free by choice may also feel similarly if we were to avoid all kid related conversations. Or maybe it was just me.
Thank you for sharing, Nandini! I think you're spot on... it's a balance and sometimes, depending on how hard your day/week has been with parenting, it can be hard to navigate that line. I know I have so much I want to discuss about parenting but, in equal measure, how much I DON'T want to talk about kids because well I'm a whole person too. And your last point is one that I find the most difficult to figure out. I don't want to exclude someone because it's a false dichotomy but at the same time, I'm sensitive to how boring the conversation must be as well. I'm glad I'm not the only one who has had these thoughts!
Moody Moody Cars (for ages 4-8) has gorgeous photos of vintage cars expressing a range of emotions, from angry to excited, to help kids recognize, understand, and communicate about emotions. The text goes, "Free-wheeling! Full of feeling! Traveling near and far. Honk if you see me I'm a Moody Moody Car!"
Growing Feelings: A Kids' Guide to Dealing with Emotions about Friends and Other Kids (for ages 6-12) focuses on the fact that our biggest feelings often come up in the context of our relationships. The book features cartoon vignettes of common friendship problems, research-based tips, and a cat and dog character who make silly suggestions to keep the tone light and entertaining, never preachy.
I discovered Baby Feels last year and 100% agree that it's just the sweetest. (I was also thrilled to find a new board book to add to my baby shower gifting!)
This list is well-timed with back to school coming up and the shift that comes with more structured, regular interaction with peers and the emotions that can bring up. Adding Color Monster to our list at the library! I also frequently feel as you describe at my book club meetings—it is such a life line to talk about the ups and downs of parenting with friends as well as to troubleshoot, and I find that lately it’s my default topic of discussion since I am living and breathing toddlers as a stay-at-home-mom. (I am aware that I need to pick up a hobby!!) I do try to shift conversation after a bit for more neutral, kid-free topics because I know that potty-training and how to handle hitting is not interesting to everyone and also could be painful for those longing for somebody to potty train of their own.
I think you really understand the struggle, Grace. It's so hard not to talk about the topics that are so front and center right now (irrespective of all the hobbies you have) because parenting can sometimes feel so all-consuming. I WANT to talk about other things but a part of me also feels this is such a valuable opportunity to connect with other parents who can help me navigate the ups and downs of parenting. It's hard sometimes to find that balance. I'm glad I'm not the only one!
Feelings!! I truly think I barely can manage my own? But I do think I talk about my own feelings with my kids out loud so the focus isn’t always on them but also so they can see how my feelings dictate my choices. Who knows if this works or not. Also, we read books and discuss feelings we see the characters go through. Or I’ll name what I think my child might be struggling with b while we try to find a solution.
I haven’t thought about kid talk dominating! We have some friend with, some without, and when we all hang together I feel like the conversation flows. And then I’ll carve out time with just my mom friends so we can mom spiral as much as we want! Haha.
Thanks for your thoughtful post!
Seriously, I don't know how much my toddler is getting from all these feelings and emotions books but I sure am learning a ton! I love that you walk through your emotional process. That's a wonderful tip and I bet it *does* show your kids how to handle those emotional situations as well. I think your point about having separate, more mom-focused conversations is brilliant. Maybe that's what I need. It's funny because I love connecting with my friends who don't have kids because it reminds me of the person I actually am (beyond just as a parent).
Any of those moments where I get to play with other adults are such a breath of fresh air! Like oh yeah! I can talk about more than the imagination play or playdoh.
If you haven’t read Out of a Jar by Deborah Mercero, may I suggest it for the emotions books list. It’s all about trying to stifle the big emotions and then the inevitable spill when you can’t keep it all inside. Talk about learning as I read. 🤣
I have 2 points of view on this. Since becoming a parent, I have often struggled with finding the balance. As much as possible, I try to have more inclusive conversations with everyone around me but many times - especially if the majority of folks on the table are parenting - the conversations keeps veering back to all things kids. And since having a kid, all everyone brings us these days (either as holiday souvenirs or just like that) are kid things. While I fully appreciate that, I also somewhere lament the loss of our identity as our own individuals before being parents. I try and do my bit to change this trend - maybe it is trying to meet people without kid stories separately or trying to have more inclusive topics as conversation starters or bringing gifts for parents instead of just the kids. But it is a balance that I am still trying to find.
The other point of view is this - I had several struggles in my parenthood journey with multiple miscarriages. At that time, I found that people with kids would try to avoid any talk of kids around me - but I found the conversations forced at that point. So maybe others in the group who are not child free by choice may also feel similarly if we were to avoid all kid related conversations. Or maybe it was just me.
Thank you for sharing, Nandini! I think you're spot on... it's a balance and sometimes, depending on how hard your day/week has been with parenting, it can be hard to navigate that line. I know I have so much I want to discuss about parenting but, in equal measure, how much I DON'T want to talk about kids because well I'm a whole person too. And your last point is one that I find the most difficult to figure out. I don't want to exclude someone because it's a false dichotomy but at the same time, I'm sensitive to how boring the conversation must be as well. I'm glad I'm not the only one who has had these thoughts!
I have two more books about kids' emotions:
Moody Moody Cars (for ages 4-8) has gorgeous photos of vintage cars expressing a range of emotions, from angry to excited, to help kids recognize, understand, and communicate about emotions. The text goes, "Free-wheeling! Full of feeling! Traveling near and far. Honk if you see me I'm a Moody Moody Car!"
Growing Feelings: A Kids' Guide to Dealing with Emotions about Friends and Other Kids (for ages 6-12) focuses on the fact that our biggest feelings often come up in the context of our relationships. The book features cartoon vignettes of common friendship problems, research-based tips, and a cat and dog character who make silly suggestions to keep the tone light and entertaining, never preachy.
Oh, I'll have to check out Moody Moody Cars! I already have your other books (which I LOVE). Thank you for sharing!
I discovered Baby Feels last year and 100% agree that it's just the sweetest. (I was also thrilled to find a new board book to add to my baby shower gifting!)
The artwork is just fantastic and made me go through all the baby pics I have on my phone 💗
This list is well-timed with back to school coming up and the shift that comes with more structured, regular interaction with peers and the emotions that can bring up. Adding Color Monster to our list at the library! I also frequently feel as you describe at my book club meetings—it is such a life line to talk about the ups and downs of parenting with friends as well as to troubleshoot, and I find that lately it’s my default topic of discussion since I am living and breathing toddlers as a stay-at-home-mom. (I am aware that I need to pick up a hobby!!) I do try to shift conversation after a bit for more neutral, kid-free topics because I know that potty-training and how to handle hitting is not interesting to everyone and also could be painful for those longing for somebody to potty train of their own.
I think you really understand the struggle, Grace. It's so hard not to talk about the topics that are so front and center right now (irrespective of all the hobbies you have) because parenting can sometimes feel so all-consuming. I WANT to talk about other things but a part of me also feels this is such a valuable opportunity to connect with other parents who can help me navigate the ups and downs of parenting. It's hard sometimes to find that balance. I'm glad I'm not the only one!
Awesome list! Going to the library with this one. There can never be enough books about kids' feelings. Thank you!💓💓💓
No, there can never be enough! Every time I read one, I think wow this is so helpful so it's definitely applicable to all ages.