5 Kid's Books About Emotions
And, do parents only talk about parenting?
I recently met up with some friends and while most of us are parents of young children, a few of them are child-free. Inevitably, as it always seems to these days, the conversation became dominated by parenting advice and stories. This always makes me acutely uncomfortable given the mixed nature of the group. Of course, I want to participate in the parenting talk, but I also recognize that it does not apply to or is of interest to everyone (parents included!).
First of all, we don’t always know what someone’s journey has been. I knew that at the table sat women who were child-free by choice but also women who were trying not to be child-free. And some whose children have flown the nest and aren’t parenting “actively.” You can’t account for everyone’s situation so does that mean you curtail the conversation? Even if it’s something that applies to a majority of the group? And somehow, even if someone changes the subject, we still end up talking about kids.
Parents, have you ever felt awkward about this? If you’re child-free, what’s your take on this?
Also, it’s not too late to complete Week 3 of the Summer Reading Challenge. If you missed it, you can find it here!
Baby Feels
Written and Illustrated by Thalita Dol
Recommended Ages: 0-2 years old
Oh my goodness, a sweeter book I surely haven’t seen. While it does the job of identifying the different emotions a baby might feel throughout the day the appeal is the cute, cuddly babies depicted so lovingly by soft watercolor sketches. And it’s not without its merits aside from its illustrations—the book wonderfully reflects the activities most babies do during their day and some of the emotions paired with them.
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The Color Monster
Written and Illustrated by Anna Llenas
Recommended Ages: 2-5 years old
This one is a big hit and popular for good reason! The premise of the story is that we have a lot of feelings tangled up inside of us and sometimes when we get confused all we have to do is sort them out. The beauty of this story—besides the bright, colorful collage artwork that is both enticing and soothing at once— is that it does a fantastic job pairing emotions with colors (things toddlers and preschoolers are learning about) with vivid descriptions of what a feeling feels like. So essentially you’ve got a trifecta of themes: colors, emotions, and words. All wonderful things for kids this age to learn about and in a way that builds on things they already know and are familiar with. One big issue I often have with books about emotions is that they tend to plant seeds that we might not want to plant 😬. For example, many books on emotions will talk about fear and then describe common fears—being scared of the dark, or a fear of heights, etc. If your kids aren’t scared of these things then I’m pretty sure you don’t want them wondering if these are things to fear. I appreciated that about this book—its descriptions are vivid and truly reflective of how an emotion feels rather than using an example to explain the feeling. This is the perfect book for introducing your little kid to emotions and feelings.
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How Do I Feel?
Written by Norma Simon and Illustrated by Joe Lasker
Recommended Ages: 5-9 years old
This book from the 70s was such a delight to find and read. It’s a draw between the cozy, vintage watercolor and pencil illustrations and the honest depiction of how many emotions we experience in a day, this book is endearing from cover to cover. We are first introduced to Carl, a young boy living with his twin brother, older brother, and grandparents. We follow Carl as he goes about his day and read his introspections always to the tune of: something happened + “How do I feel?” + how he feels. While there’s no true plot to this book we see the undercurrents of Carl’s relationship with his brothers, friends, and grandparents. There’s no moralizing in this story—no emotion is better or worse than any other. And there are no suggested practices for emotional regulation either. What you’re getting here is an honest portrayal of all the different emotions we feel throughout our day, how they impact us and others, and how it all adds up in the end. A lot of kids will see things they’ve felt and experienced reflected back to them and it will help them normalize that there’s no good or bad emotion—they all count the same and are normal parts of us. The scenes of Carl’s day will be familiar as well as we trail him to school, the playground, and his home. Not so much a warning but more of a heads up: you will see a child’s butt as they’re about to enter the tub for their bath.
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What Are You So Grumpy About?
Written and Illustrated by Tom Lichtenheld
Recommended Ages: 6-10 years old
I love Tom Lichtenheld’s books—it’s the zany, kooky bright, suck-you-in illustrations that are saturated with deep color and even deeper humor that made me fall in love with this one. Sometimes you can’t help but just fall into the doldrums of the day—especially when things aren’t going your way. And this book, hilariously, depicts all the reasons why your day may not turn out as well as you’d like—like when someone leaves the toilet seat up or you stub your toe (a total mood-killer if you ask me) to being touched by a gross, germy sibling. Now before you think this book is depressing and why would anyone want to read this, let me stop you right there. This book makes you feel seen—we’ve all been there when we’re having a rough day. And kids especially need to feel seen—they’re often being told what to do and even how to feel. This book brings them into the very real human experience of things just not going our way sometimes and that’s okay. Especially when it’s done in a fun, humorous way!
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Anh’s Anger
Written by Gail Silver and Illustrated by Christiane Krömer
Recommended Ages: 7-10 years old
I’ve already done books on anger so I wasn’t sure if I should list it here but it is so good I had to include it. Too often we focus on anger as something to overcome and it certainly is an emotion that we need to regulate. That’s covered in this book but what I love most is that anger also tells us something. It teaches us something about ourselves—why we get angry, when we get angry, and what we do when we get angry. And this story magnificently illustrates all that without veering into preachiness or losing sight of the plot. When Anh knocks over his tower of blocks, he loses his temper and yells at his grandfather. His grandfather tells him to go to his room and “sit” with his anger. Anh stomps to his room and flings himself on his bed and before he knows it, his Anger appears—an insect-like little monster with a fiery red head. Anh and his Anger talk and, when they tire each other out, they just sit with each other too. It shows us that there’s more to anger than just intense, emotional outbursts—it’s a form of protection. The illustrations are stunning with the paper and silk collage-work and exquisitely detailed pencil sketches. This is a wonderful read for older kids who may be struggling to rein in their temper.
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There’s still time to participate in Week 3 of the Summer Reading Challenge!
And, in case you missed it, the Olympics Opening Ceremony starts tomorrow, July 26th! You can check out my favorite kid’s books about the Olympics here.
Let’s talk…
How do you feel when conversations turn to parenting topics knowing not everyone in the room is a parent?
How are you or did you explain feelings to your kids?
What tools have you seen to be helpful with emotional regulation?
*Thank you for using (at no additional cost to you) the affiliate links in this post! :-)
Feelings!! I truly think I barely can manage my own? But I do think I talk about my own feelings with my kids out loud so the focus isn’t always on them but also so they can see how my feelings dictate my choices. Who knows if this works or not. Also, we read books and discuss feelings we see the characters go through. Or I’ll name what I think my child might be struggling with b while we try to find a solution.
I haven’t thought about kid talk dominating! We have some friend with, some without, and when we all hang together I feel like the conversation flows. And then I’ll carve out time with just my mom friends so we can mom spiral as much as we want! Haha.
Thanks for your thoughtful post!
I have 2 points of view on this. Since becoming a parent, I have often struggled with finding the balance. As much as possible, I try to have more inclusive conversations with everyone around me but many times - especially if the majority of folks on the table are parenting - the conversations keeps veering back to all things kids. And since having a kid, all everyone brings us these days (either as holiday souvenirs or just like that) are kid things. While I fully appreciate that, I also somewhere lament the loss of our identity as our own individuals before being parents. I try and do my bit to change this trend - maybe it is trying to meet people without kid stories separately or trying to have more inclusive topics as conversation starters or bringing gifts for parents instead of just the kids. But it is a balance that I am still trying to find.
The other point of view is this - I had several struggles in my parenthood journey with multiple miscarriages. At that time, I found that people with kids would try to avoid any talk of kids around me - but I found the conversations forced at that point. So maybe others in the group who are not child free by choice may also feel similarly if we were to avoid all kid related conversations. Or maybe it was just me.