I’m sorry it took me so long to get to read this, but I’m so glad I did, absolutely brilliant both Tanya and Sri!! I’m definitely having daily existential questions about my mother tongue…. We live in a French speaking environment now since 5 months, my husband is French and my daughter prefers only French so it’s crazy mind exercise to be consistent in the language I speak and mot flip over especially as my husband isn’t as good in Swedish… him and I always speak English together but never to the kids. To the kids it’s French (mostly) and I try my hardest for a minimum daily interaction with Swedish… could never imagine how hard it would be to speak ones’ mother tongue….
Yes! I hear you. I'm in the exact same situation. Something in me really wants to speak Russian to my daughter but on the practical every day level it's actually so hard to accomplish.
I am still in awe at how so many of us live with so many languages in our head and, even though it's so hard sometimes, it's such an amazing opportunity to pass on the gift of languages to our kids. That's what I say to myself to keep myself going when I have doubt/fatigue/don't give a fuck haha
I exclusively read books in Haitian Creole to my son. I sing songs I've learned from YouTube and FaceTime his great-grandma and grandma as much as I can. But that's really the extent of it.
I need to be better about speaking to him exclusively in it, but it’s not always easy, especially since I'm not as strong as I would like to be. It's a lot more difficult when you're the sole person with the language in the home and village. But this was a healthy reminder to keep at it. Thank you, Sri.
Marc, it’s so hard! Especially when we feel like our own language skills are rusty. I really struggle with this too. I wish there were better and easier ways to gift our kids with language but like anything else in parenting it seems like the hard way is the best (ahem, only?) way. ❤️
Yes, it's tough when there is no community to support us. I wish I could say it gets easier, but it doesn't. I was the only person speaking my language to my kids when they were little and it took a lot of effort (and still does: now I'm pretty much the only person speaking to them both our home languages). The only thing I'd say is don't let your concerns about your own language skills stop you. You may not be 'perfect' (if such a thing even exists) but it really doesn't matter, because he's still learning the language and learning to interact with you in it.
There's really no easy way to do this. English is my primary language. It was the language I was educated in and the language I use in my daily life. My first language is Cantonese. But it's stuck at the level of a five year old's. When people ask how my Canto is, I tell them that I know enough not to starve and my pronunciation is reasonable. People in Hong Kong don't seem to think I was born abroad due to the pronunciation, but get the vibe (from my body language, most likely), that I'm not "from there." One woman asked me if I studied abroad. Well, yeah. My entire life? Can't read or write. My son knows a few words of Cantonese - such as numbers and some food words. We use "fun gow" to refer to sleeping (but interchange it with schluff(ie), which means sleep in Yiddish. The (ie) part is how kids say it). My son probably speaks more Cantonese than Yiddish since my husband can't speak it and we have yet to expose him to Hebrew. Being in Canada, my son gets exposed to French as well - they have two classes a week. Not really much. We're in Toronto, so it's not like French is part of our daily lives. If he wants to work for the government, then he'll need to be bilingual, but the career world is years away. He's only in Senior Kindergarten!
As for Cantonese, there really aren't many bilingual English-Canto pronunciation resources out there. Almost EVERY English-Chinese book out there uses Mandarin. I get it, that's what most people speak, but my ancestral language IS Cantonese and without too many resources, it could disappear. I have found a few on Amazon (all are self-published), which is a good thing. And I did include a few Cantonese phrases in the book I recently published. :)
Cantonese is only a primary language in certain regions of mainland China and in Hong Kong. And in Mainland China, Mandarin is the language that’s officially used. If it’s traditional writing, then all the same, just pronounced differently, but officially, mainlanders used simplified writing. Taiwan and Hong Kong use traditional. I can easily have my son watch Cantonese videos but it’s not the same as reading and I would prefer bilingual books!
Hi Cynthia, I know it's super tough when there is no resources (in addition to no community). Are you sure you need bilingual resources to teach your child though? Are there any children's books/videos in Cantonese you can get to read/watch with him? It sounds like your Cantonese pronunciation is just so fine so he can get that part from you, no? I'd say don't overthink it :) If you can speak to him in Cantonese he can learn it from you even if as you say it's 'stuck at a level of a five year old's' :)
I can’t read Chinese, so no, I can’t “just” get books. I can’t even search online. The Cantonese speaking community is large in Toronto, but my everyone in my generation is more or less clueless in one way or another. Bilingual along with a pronunciation guide is the most ideal.
As my own kids are well past their toddler years, I can say that I have read to them in both English and Russian when they were little and it worked well, indulging both for me (I love children's books still with a passion & reading my own childhood favourites to my children was the most wonderful trip down memory lane) and my children, who got to experience the best of both languages. Now they speak two languages and are learning more, forming their own cultural references, as I am sure so do yours. Plus reading actual books is such joy, as opposed to reading online
I agree. In my case, most of my favorite picture books are in English (and I love picture books so much I buy for for myself :)) and it's a real joy to share that with my kids. I loved reading to them in Russian too. It was a rewarding experience in a very different way. I think the most important thing is that we have to enjoy whatever it is we're doing with them, rather than do it for purely 'educational' reasons.
Couldn't agree more with you - sharing things we love with kids is the most natural thing, which will only enhance their learning. Forcing a language on them never works. So if on occasion I speak Russian to my daughter and she responds in English - well, I don't have a problem with it at all. It's still language practise overall that benefits us both
Fascinating indeed. I think to a degree speaking a language is like knowing how to ride a bicycle - if you know it, but had a break, it will come back to you as soon as you go back to practising/doing it regularly. But language is like a muscle too -needs to be used actively in order to be on top form .)
I have so many feelings about this. 🥲 My parents immigrated to the United States when they were children. Sadly, much of their culture and language was lost.
Danica, I can empathize. I’ve heard from so many that have experienced the same thing. I think it’s one of the reasons people want to pass down their language since it’s a very tangible connection to their heritage. I hope you still have some good stories of your cultural ancestry from your parents.
I agree completely. My parents still speak Spanish fluently, but they never spoke it to me. I understand but was always ashamed to speak it for fear of messing up. I'm currently on a journey, learning the language myself whilst teaching my children. It's been so healing for me.
Hi Remy, with 1 on 1 lessons it depends on the child, their level of interest and their age. If they're interested and are able to pay attention for even a short period of time then you can start even when they're very little. I started teaching my kid to read in Russian when he was 2 but I could only do it because he was interested and because we did it through play. With language learning a lot depends on your goals. If you really want them to learn the language I would supplement the 1 on 1 lessons with some kind of social setting if not an immersion environment for a couple of hours a week. Kids are very practical. It's hard for them to understand why they need to learn something if they don't need it in their daily lives.
What an interesting post with no easy tips or tricks, as learning languages & speaking several at home can be as delightful, as confusing. I grew up with Russian, my native tongue, but was taught English from pre-school. Later I learnt French & Spanish. For my kids English is their first language, my son is relatively fluent in Russian when compared to his sister. To me Russian language & culture are part of my DNA, and I am ashamed to say that my husband spoken more Russian to kids when they were little than I did. Is their perception of Russian different to mine? Without a doubt, but they love Russian & am sure will continue improving their spoken & written one. Languages are like food for the brain & the more languages we speak - Tanya, your skills are VERY impressive - the better we will understand other people & cultures. My only tip would be to speak to kids in different languages, expose them to books, music, films in different languages & encourage their (as well as your own) language curiosity. Reading a book in its original language is the most wonderful pleasure & will give different complexity & nuances than when you read it’s best translation in another language. Thank you for this wonderfully heartwarming post
I agree, Galina, I wish there was an easier way to impart language and all its cultural nuance in an easier, faster way! And yes, I've found that learning one language opens up your brain to being more receptive to other languages as well. Thank you for sharing your experience and tips!
I think the more we expose kids to languages from the earliest age, the easier it would be for them to learn & assimilate. Even a few words or phrases in as many languages re-engage our brains & make us more curious to learn more
Absolutely! I believe there are so many studies that state how receptive kids are to learning new languages at young ages. I also learned something new when Tanya mentioned that it’s just as easy to displace that learning if it isn’t used often. It’s so fascinating learning about language acquisition.
Thank you Galina! I agree that reading books in the original language is best because many nuances can't be translated. It's a dilemma that many parents of bilingual children face: should I read them in all the languages that I know or just the language that I speak to them? One way to go about it is to read to them only in your language only when they're a baby/toddler, and then when you have established a relationship with your child in that language, you can read to them in other languages as well. That's of course a personal choice. Translating a picture book while you're reading it as a lot of work, and yes a lot is lost in translation :)
I’m sorry it took me so long to get to read this, but I’m so glad I did, absolutely brilliant both Tanya and Sri!! I’m definitely having daily existential questions about my mother tongue…. We live in a French speaking environment now since 5 months, my husband is French and my daughter prefers only French so it’s crazy mind exercise to be consistent in the language I speak and mot flip over especially as my husband isn’t as good in Swedish… him and I always speak English together but never to the kids. To the kids it’s French (mostly) and I try my hardest for a minimum daily interaction with Swedish… could never imagine how hard it would be to speak ones’ mother tongue….
Yes! I hear you. I'm in the exact same situation. Something in me really wants to speak Russian to my daughter but on the practical every day level it's actually so hard to accomplish.
I am still in awe at how so many of us live with so many languages in our head and, even though it's so hard sometimes, it's such an amazing opportunity to pass on the gift of languages to our kids. That's what I say to myself to keep myself going when I have doubt/fatigue/don't give a fuck haha
I exclusively read books in Haitian Creole to my son. I sing songs I've learned from YouTube and FaceTime his great-grandma and grandma as much as I can. But that's really the extent of it.
I need to be better about speaking to him exclusively in it, but it’s not always easy, especially since I'm not as strong as I would like to be. It's a lot more difficult when you're the sole person with the language in the home and village. But this was a healthy reminder to keep at it. Thank you, Sri.
Marc, it’s so hard! Especially when we feel like our own language skills are rusty. I really struggle with this too. I wish there were better and easier ways to gift our kids with language but like anything else in parenting it seems like the hard way is the best (ahem, only?) way. ❤️
Yes, it's tough when there is no community to support us. I wish I could say it gets easier, but it doesn't. I was the only person speaking my language to my kids when they were little and it took a lot of effort (and still does: now I'm pretty much the only person speaking to them both our home languages). The only thing I'd say is don't let your concerns about your own language skills stop you. You may not be 'perfect' (if such a thing even exists) but it really doesn't matter, because he's still learning the language and learning to interact with you in it.
There's really no easy way to do this. English is my primary language. It was the language I was educated in and the language I use in my daily life. My first language is Cantonese. But it's stuck at the level of a five year old's. When people ask how my Canto is, I tell them that I know enough not to starve and my pronunciation is reasonable. People in Hong Kong don't seem to think I was born abroad due to the pronunciation, but get the vibe (from my body language, most likely), that I'm not "from there." One woman asked me if I studied abroad. Well, yeah. My entire life? Can't read or write. My son knows a few words of Cantonese - such as numbers and some food words. We use "fun gow" to refer to sleeping (but interchange it with schluff(ie), which means sleep in Yiddish. The (ie) part is how kids say it). My son probably speaks more Cantonese than Yiddish since my husband can't speak it and we have yet to expose him to Hebrew. Being in Canada, my son gets exposed to French as well - they have two classes a week. Not really much. We're in Toronto, so it's not like French is part of our daily lives. If he wants to work for the government, then he'll need to be bilingual, but the career world is years away. He's only in Senior Kindergarten!
As for Cantonese, there really aren't many bilingual English-Canto pronunciation resources out there. Almost EVERY English-Chinese book out there uses Mandarin. I get it, that's what most people speak, but my ancestral language IS Cantonese and without too many resources, it could disappear. I have found a few on Amazon (all are self-published), which is a good thing. And I did include a few Cantonese phrases in the book I recently published. :)
Thank you for sharing your experience, Cynthia! I had no idea it was so hard to find resources to help learn Cantonese.
Cantonese is only a primary language in certain regions of mainland China and in Hong Kong. And in Mainland China, Mandarin is the language that’s officially used. If it’s traditional writing, then all the same, just pronounced differently, but officially, mainlanders used simplified writing. Taiwan and Hong Kong use traditional. I can easily have my son watch Cantonese videos but it’s not the same as reading and I would prefer bilingual books!
Hi Cynthia, I know it's super tough when there is no resources (in addition to no community). Are you sure you need bilingual resources to teach your child though? Are there any children's books/videos in Cantonese you can get to read/watch with him? It sounds like your Cantonese pronunciation is just so fine so he can get that part from you, no? I'd say don't overthink it :) If you can speak to him in Cantonese he can learn it from you even if as you say it's 'stuck at a level of a five year old's' :)
I can’t read Chinese, so no, I can’t “just” get books. I can’t even search online. The Cantonese speaking community is large in Toronto, but my everyone in my generation is more or less clueless in one way or another. Bilingual along with a pronunciation guide is the most ideal.
Right, I missed the part about you not being able to read. That makes it harder of course. I hope you find something that helps! It's not easy.
As my own kids are well past their toddler years, I can say that I have read to them in both English and Russian when they were little and it worked well, indulging both for me (I love children's books still with a passion & reading my own childhood favourites to my children was the most wonderful trip down memory lane) and my children, who got to experience the best of both languages. Now they speak two languages and are learning more, forming their own cultural references, as I am sure so do yours. Plus reading actual books is such joy, as opposed to reading online
I agree. In my case, most of my favorite picture books are in English (and I love picture books so much I buy for for myself :)) and it's a real joy to share that with my kids. I loved reading to them in Russian too. It was a rewarding experience in a very different way. I think the most important thing is that we have to enjoy whatever it is we're doing with them, rather than do it for purely 'educational' reasons.
Couldn't agree more with you - sharing things we love with kids is the most natural thing, which will only enhance their learning. Forcing a language on them never works. So if on occasion I speak Russian to my daughter and she responds in English - well, I don't have a problem with it at all. It's still language practise overall that benefits us both
Fascinating indeed. I think to a degree speaking a language is like knowing how to ride a bicycle - if you know it, but had a break, it will come back to you as soon as you go back to practising/doing it regularly. But language is like a muscle too -needs to be used actively in order to be on top form .)
Yes! I like the analogy that language is like a muscle.
glad to read this resonated with you Tanya :)
So interesting, Sri!! Thank you for sharing your insight and Tanya’s experience 🤍🤍🤍
I have so many feelings about this. 🥲 My parents immigrated to the United States when they were children. Sadly, much of their culture and language was lost.
Danica, I can empathize. I’ve heard from so many that have experienced the same thing. I think it’s one of the reasons people want to pass down their language since it’s a very tangible connection to their heritage. I hope you still have some good stories of your cultural ancestry from your parents.
I agree completely. My parents still speak Spanish fluently, but they never spoke it to me. I understand but was always ashamed to speak it for fear of messing up. I'm currently on a journey, learning the language myself whilst teaching my children. It's been so healing for me.
Also, I just subscribed. <3
Thank you so much! Excited to have you here ❤️
That's amazing! How are you learning it?
(Wow, Sri, look at this comment section! 🔥)
Thanks, Sarah! I love hearing what other people's experiences have been.
What about 1 on 1 lessons, at what age can this be started?
What @Tanya said 😉
Hi Remy, with 1 on 1 lessons it depends on the child, their level of interest and their age. If they're interested and are able to pay attention for even a short period of time then you can start even when they're very little. I started teaching my kid to read in Russian when he was 2 but I could only do it because he was interested and because we did it through play. With language learning a lot depends on your goals. If you really want them to learn the language I would supplement the 1 on 1 lessons with some kind of social setting if not an immersion environment for a couple of hours a week. Kids are very practical. It's hard for them to understand why they need to learn something if they don't need it in their daily lives.
Thanks :)
What an interesting post with no easy tips or tricks, as learning languages & speaking several at home can be as delightful, as confusing. I grew up with Russian, my native tongue, but was taught English from pre-school. Later I learnt French & Spanish. For my kids English is their first language, my son is relatively fluent in Russian when compared to his sister. To me Russian language & culture are part of my DNA, and I am ashamed to say that my husband spoken more Russian to kids when they were little than I did. Is their perception of Russian different to mine? Without a doubt, but they love Russian & am sure will continue improving their spoken & written one. Languages are like food for the brain & the more languages we speak - Tanya, your skills are VERY impressive - the better we will understand other people & cultures. My only tip would be to speak to kids in different languages, expose them to books, music, films in different languages & encourage their (as well as your own) language curiosity. Reading a book in its original language is the most wonderful pleasure & will give different complexity & nuances than when you read it’s best translation in another language. Thank you for this wonderfully heartwarming post
I agree, Galina, I wish there was an easier way to impart language and all its cultural nuance in an easier, faster way! And yes, I've found that learning one language opens up your brain to being more receptive to other languages as well. Thank you for sharing your experience and tips!
I think the more we expose kids to languages from the earliest age, the easier it would be for them to learn & assimilate. Even a few words or phrases in as many languages re-engage our brains & make us more curious to learn more
Absolutely! I believe there are so many studies that state how receptive kids are to learning new languages at young ages. I also learned something new when Tanya mentioned that it’s just as easy to displace that learning if it isn’t used often. It’s so fascinating learning about language acquisition.
Thank you Galina! I agree that reading books in the original language is best because many nuances can't be translated. It's a dilemma that many parents of bilingual children face: should I read them in all the languages that I know or just the language that I speak to them? One way to go about it is to read to them only in your language only when they're a baby/toddler, and then when you have established a relationship with your child in that language, you can read to them in other languages as well. That's of course a personal choice. Translating a picture book while you're reading it as a lot of work, and yes a lot is lost in translation :)