How We Instill A Love for Reading in Our Kids
Writers share their reading routines, values, and lessons for their kids
How it started (for me)
In my case, it’s a religious imperative to, at the very least, respect, if not love, reading. The Hindu goddess, Saraswati, is the goddess of knowledge. She bears 4 arms each carrying a singular item—a rosary, a water pot, a veena (a musical instrument), and a book. Before their exams, Hindu students will pray to her and hope she blesses them with good grades. Growing up, this meant that books were revered. If we threw a book, we would be in trouble. If books were found carelessly strewn about we would be scolded. If we accidentally tread on a book or even a piece of paper, we would stop immediately, pick it up, and beg forgiveness. There is no higher insult to the goddess than to treat her beloved possessions with disrespect.
Books were prized possessions valued higher than almost anything else we had. While I grew up with every need attended to, I knew we operated under a very tight budget. Even so, my parents prioritized books as a worthy expense. To coax us into doing things we hated, my parents would promise to take us to a bookstore afterward where we could buy a book or two. My dad—by all means, NOT a bookworm—often told us that money spent on a book was never wasted and, even when money was tight, rarely denied buying us a book. Most of the books I grew up with are still exactly where I left them in my childhood home.
The rituals around reading for me growing up were largely self-driven. My mom would read to us in bed. My brother and I would cozy up in one of our beds while my mom read to us both. We’d trade off between picture books suited for my younger brother and those suited for me. Then we’d have an elaborate good night ritual before the lights were turned off. I recall those memories with a great deal of fondness because, that, I think, is when the glue binding me to my parents and brother cured and bound us together permanently.
How it’s going (for my kid)
Like so much of parenting in modern times, I often wonder if we don’t overburden ourselves with false pressure. I am a self-proclaimed bookworm. What does that mean? How many books does one need to read to become a bookworm? Is there a competition?
My parents, one a bookworm who was too tired for books and one who never looked at books beyond the perfunctory utility they could provide, fostered a bookworm (me) and a book appreciator (my brother). In my book (🚨pun alert), they did well even if they weren’t necessarily big readers themselves. So when it comes to what I intend on doing with my kid, I’m going to keep it simple, and fun, and take the pressure off:
Weekly trips to the library—I want her to not only see libraries as a haven of books but to appreciate them as a community resource and learn how to conduct research in the right way
Books anywhere and everywhere—I keep books in the car and refresh them every so often; if I know there will be a lot of waiting around, I’ll bring books to help bide the time
Book picnics—I started this when my daughter was younger and I desperately needed to get out of the house. I’d find a nice cafe, grab a picnic blanket, and books, and read to my daughter in a park while I enjoyed a pastry or coffee
Grown-up read aloud—Sometimes when my daughter is playing, I’ll start reading my own book aloud. She loves the background noise while she plays and I love being able to read even if it’s just for 5 minutes
Storytime Glee—I try to do this every day but sometimes I’m too tired (and that’s okay) to give it my all. I read aloud with gusto and energy and really get into it. Sometimes my daughter thinks it’s a riot; sometimes she thinks I’m crazy (both are probably true)
Gifting books— I intend for every important occasion where a gift is expected, a book is always going to be one of them.
Sharing what and why I read—this one is important to me not the least because it means I’m actually getting the chance to read, but because I want to share the books I’m reading and what I like and dislike about them. These critical thinking questions that we ask of our kids and their reading can easily (and should) be turned on us as well. It’s another way to live by example.
Family reading time—just like I want to watch movies and TV shows as a family, it would be a dream come true to have prolonged family reading time where everyone is in the same room reading their own books. So far we’ve gotten 10 minutes of mileage with this activity 🥴
These are just a few ways I plan on incorporating reading and the value of reading in our lives. I’ll keep sharing how these plans and ideas change and evolve. I’m equally eager to hear from you on how you’re encouraging this passion in your kids!
I’m exceptionally grateful that some of my favorite newsletter authors, who greatly value reading themselves and hope to pass it down to their kids, shared their own experiences with me. Here’s what they said:
of the wickedly funny Evil Witches
Something I taught my kids from an early age is that the library is for everyone including kids. They’ve always known to go ask the librarian a question when we go, not me. It’s important to me they practice asking someone for help and getting that help without me. And I of course am glad when we end up carrying home a big pile of books. Even though I grumble about carrying too much and how they pile up around the house and are hard to find when it’s time to return them, in this particular case I’m glad they’re greedy.
, the dad behind Raising Myles (which always makes me teary-eyed)
One of my favorite reading habits with him is reading books in Haitian Kreyol. While I am not as consistent as I should be, reading books in Haitian Creole helps me feel like I am imparting something of myself to him. Interestingly enough, because it’s a language I am not as fluent in as I used to be, I realize that in reading to him I keep learning new words too. Clearly, the routine is helping us both.
, author of the exceptionally informative and parent-affirming book and newsletter of the same name, Is My Kid The Asshole?
When my kids were younger, either my husband or I read to them every night while sitting together on their beds. When the kids were very young, we'd pick a selection of 2-3 short books to read. When they got older, we picked longer books—I have fond memories of reading the Harry Potter series to my son and Roald Dahl books to my daughter. Now that they're older (10 and 13), I don't read to them anymore, but we recently started a new routine in which we will sit together in my bedroom starting at 8 pm and parallel read—we'll each be silently reading our own books, but we do it together. I find this is a really nice way to spend time with my 13-year-old son, in particular, because it's a way for us to be in the same space and feel close without always having to make conversation.
captures the migrant experience in the fascinating
My childhood homes and the places I’ve raised my son have been filled with books at all times. We lugged books to Singapore and New Zealand in our hand luggage since we didn’t know what access to books we’d have there. We had friends and family lug Finnish children’s books into the country while we lived there. I also make reading and finding books an adventure with my son, for instance when we go on holiday: Sicily, Stockholm, London, or wherever, we go shopping for books. This way books fit into the concept of a holiday and we have them as souvenirs of our travels. We’ve also spent hours in Ikea while my son followed along, headphones on, cackling with laughter, listening to an audiobook from the public library app.
who shares the complexity of being a Muslim woman in the West in
When the boys were little, we read to them regularly. As they've gotten older and more independent (10 and 13) they are less interested in reading together. That said, when my 10-year-old really likes a book, he loves to read it out loud to me. We'll find somewhere comfy to lie down (his bed or mine) and he'll just read and read. Their dad has also been reading them The Hobbit on and off for months now. It's like this special bedtime treat that happens once every few weeks. They already know the whole story but they love the voices he does.
Some more ideas for fun book rituals:
If you’re struggling to build a routine around reading in your home, I’ve written about how to make it fun not only for your kids but for you too!
The comments section of this lovely article on Cup of Jo is incredible
- always inspires me to be creative with my reading routines
This Note by
from is such a brilliant, simple way to get started no matter the age!
Let’s Talk…
What were the ways your parents instilled a love for reading? (If they didn’t, how did you find your love for reading?)
How are you passing on that interest to your kids?
What’s your favorite reading memory?
HUGE thanks to
, , , , and for sharing their stories with me. Thank you!
My kids are 19 and 22 now, both off at college. They both still read for pleasure. When we traveled, I always tried to find a book for them that was set in the place we were going, which was why, at age 11, in an Edinburgh museum, our daughter stopped in her tracks when she heard a particular sound and dragged us all, thoroughly confused, into a side room to witness the workings of the Chaos Clock. We’d never heard of it, but she’d read all about it. A book about the French resistance connected my son to history on a trip to the Loire Valley. I feel like hunting out those books for them was so valuable and helped form a permanent link between a place, its history, and the stories written about it.
I love, love this post Sri!
When my two older kids were younger we read at night as part of their routine and we did the same with the younger two for some time but as bedtimes with 4 kids got more complicated we stopped reading to them at night, which felt like breaking a parenting rule. I am so tired at night, sometimes reading them books was just another task. But now I love our reading practices. We have been parallel reading with my 4th grader in the evening, which started when we are on vacation in the beginning of the summer. He likes to ask what our books are about and guess based on the covers. We also recently made some adjustments in living room to make it more reading oriented now we are out of the phase of book rippers and dumpers, so we have books lots of places. Audiobooks have also been a new family activity. And reading stories at meal times is something we do from time to time. Just not at night, I can't do it. And of course, we use our library a ton. Sometimes I am there multiple times a week.