7 Books On Making New Friends
May we make them, may we know them, may we keep them!
Hello! I'm Sri Juneja and this is my children’s book recommendation newsletter. You can subscribe by clicking on this handy little button:
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One of my closest friends is a third-culture kid (raised in multiple different cultures) which means she has this knack for making friends wherever she goes. She’s that perfect blend of outgoing and open-minded with an easy laugh (and willingness to laugh at herself too) that makes it very, very hard not to befriend her. The fact that she understands the importance of how to build a social circle, coupled with her affability, means that she can systematically make friends anywhere.
In that way, we are very dissimilar. Making new friends is a struggle for me. A big part of it is definitely exposure. That’s something I miss about childhood. SO MANY places to meet kids and the low, low bar of making a new friend: “Are we having fun together? Okay, we’re friends!” The other part is it can be really tiring putting yourself out there (partially driven by my introversion). When time and energy are scarce it can be scary using up these valuable resources to learn about someone who ends up not being our cup of tea. At the crux, this is the real tragedy.
For my friend, this isn’t wasted time. It’s time spent getting to know another human being and even if you don’t connect, you’ve learned something about them and you’ve learned something about yourself. I’m working hard to internalize this philosophy and rediscover the joy of meeting someone new for the sheer excitement of getting to know them.
The book recommendations I’ve shared below are to help kids seize one of the best things about childhood: lots and lots of opportunities to make new friends!
Are you like me and struggling to make new friends? What part do you struggle with? If you’re one of those people who find it easy to make friends, please, share your tips! What are the best watering holes? How do you start up a conversation?
First, why having friends is important…
We Are Friends At Home
Written and Illustrated by Sue Downing
Recommended Ages: 0-2 years
A cute baby board book to start getting the very littlest reader familiar with friendship. The book takes toys familiar to most kids and points out how those toys are “friends” with other toys. It’s a good introduction to the abstract world of friendship. Each page is illustrated with a single toy in soft, beautiful pastel shades. The book is very soothing to read and is a big hit with this age group!
Links to buy: Bookshop.org*
Friendshape
Written by Amy Krouse Rosenthal | Illustrated by Tom Lichtenheld
Recommended Ages: 3-6 years
The first time I read this book it charmed its way into my heart. I learned the very important lesson that you can’t teach friendship without throwing some shapes into the mix! This book is a precocious, hilariously clever way of introducing why friends are so important. The text is simple, highlighting why we need friends and the four main shapes are rearranged to reinforce the message. The drawings are endearing rearrangements of shapes and the way it’s done to (literally) illustrate the point is brilliant.
Links to buy: Thriftbooks
Iris and Walter
Written by Elissa Haden Guest | Illustrated by Christine Davenier
Recommended Ages: 7-9 years
The first book of a series, this chapter book tells the story of how Iris, a city girl, moves with her family to the countryside. In the most classic case for making new friends, Iris is starting fresh in a place where she’d rather not be. She misses her life in the big city and is struggling to adjust to this new country lifestyle where she feels lonely. When Iris happens upon a boy her age, Walter, they start playing together and become friends. From that friendship, Iris builds new memories of the countryside and starts to recognize the beauty of her new home. This book is perfect for the beginner chapter reader and has lovely watercolor sketches that make you long for the simplicity and sweetness of country living.
Links to buy: Bookshop.org*
Then, how we make new friends…
The Kraken’s Rules For Making Friends
Written and Illustrated by Brittany R. Jacobs
Recommended Ages: 3-7 years
The Kraken is lonely. One of the most feared sea monsters, the Kraken finds it very hard to make a friend. The Kraken tries to make itself appear differently to the other fish in order to trick them into becoming friends but they quickly “fish” out the truth. Finally, the Kraken turns to the Great White Shark who is equally frightening but surprisingly popular with the other fish. The Great White Shark instructs the Kraken on a few rules to make friends including being approachable, nice, and helpful to the other fishes. This was a delightful read with lots of sea puns, atmospheric and fun illustrations, and some great life lessons to boot.
Links to buy: Bookshop.org*
You Will Be My Friend!
Written and Illustrated by Peter Brown
Recommended Ages: 3-6 years
This book is really a study about how not to make friends. Lucy wakes up one morning and announces to her mom that she is going to make a new friend that day. She starts the day with a full tank of excitement that slowly empties as the day goes on and not a friend has been befriended. Lucy’s eagerness results in a heavy-handed approach to making friends—instead of being appreciated for her (misguided) efforts, she’s rebuffed. What I love about this book is that sometimes someone’s extroversion can come across as “too much” and that’s what’s depicted here. What I love about Lucy is that she doesn’t let it get her down—she becomes frustrated and hopeless but she remains positive and ultimately does end up finding a friend. The illustrations are warm, and inviting, and capture the humor of the story perfectly.
Links to buy: Bookshop.org*
Sweety
Written and Illustrated by Andrea Zuill
Recommended Ages: 4-8 years
Sweety is an adorable molerat that marches to the beat of her own drum. With her uncommon hobbies and passion, she’s different from the other molerats and she knows it. Sweety spends time wondering if she should try to be more like the other molerats to fit in and make friends but other times she’s content just being herself. Her aunt Ruth explains to her that by staying true to herself, Sweety will find friends that like her for who she is. The pen drawings are beautiful with just the right amount of detail to transport you to Sweety’s world. My favorite is the glimpse we get into Sweety’s room. This book is perfect for kids who feel like they don’t always fit in and that to make new friends they have to be inauthentic. This book will remind them that there is always someone out there who will like them just as they are.
Links to buy: Bookshop.org*
Finally, how we keep them…
A Friend Like You
Written by Frank Murphy and Charnaie Gordon | Illustrated by Kayla Harren
Recommended Ages: 5-8 years
Okay, this book is a gorgeous representation of the world around us (excellent diversity and inclusiveness!) and the beauty of friendship. It starts with a white boy befriending a Black girl and then moves into a whole vast array of friendships along the spectrum of race, gender, age, religion, and ability. One of the authors, Charnaie Gordon, is a diversity and inclusion expert and you can definitely see her expertise in the thoughtfulness of the story and in the attention to detail in the illustrations. Each page highlights how to be a good friend and what you can do to show the people in your life you care. It’s a book with a lot of heart and soul and magnificently inclusive illustrations.
Links to buy: Bookshop.org*
Up next week…
A little travelogue about my trip to Italy in the spring. I share some of the bookish experiences I had on my trip and some of the thoughts it spurred. Stay tuned!
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A helpful theme for summer friends and back to school